The Talk Continues
by MuseandMe2
Summary: By request, a sequel to The Talk where Chakotay and Kathryn spoke just after Resolutions about a more personal relationship between them.  This talk takes place just after Coda while they sail Lake George after Janeway's near death experience.  Enjoy!


Kathryn leaned back on the deck of the boat and stared up at the moon. She inhaled a deep breath of the night air and, even though it was the holodeck, it almost felt like home.

"Enjoying yourself?" Chakotay walked up with a glass of wine and handed it to her.

Kathryn took a sip and said, "This is heavenly. It's good to be alive."

Chakotay smiled and drew up a chair to sit beside her. He placed a hand on her leg and said, "It's good to have you back."

Kathryn flashed back to a few days ago when she had been severely injured in a shuttle crash while out flying with Chakotay. As she lay dying, an alien being had inhabited her brain asking her to follow him into a not so heavenly afterlife. Luckily, she had figured out his ulterior agenda and was able to, with Chakotay and the Doctor's help, fight back and regain her life.

Before the Doctor had arrived, Kathryn had watched Chakotay work on her lifeless body, calling out to her and begging her to stay with him. She saw him cradle her body in his arms when he thought he had lost her and the tears that rolled down his cheeks. That anguish was now long gone as she looked at the beaming man before her.

She sat up and cupped his cheek. "Thanks to you. You fought so hard for me."

"You're worth it."

Kathryn smiled and remembered a conversation they had after returning from New Earth. She had invited him to dinner and their talk had gotten personal. Too personal. Chakotay had laid his heart out for her to take and she had rejected it. Not because she couldn't see him as a potential mate, but because she had too many other responsibilities that took priority over her personal life. Her recent near death experience had changed that and Kathryn now found herself wondering about her new perspective and where Chakotay fit in it.

He took her hand and brought it down. Stroking her arm, he said, "You look serious. Can I help?"

His words brought her back to the present and she said, "You always want to help me."

"First Officer habit. I have a duty to protect you."

"You have a duty to protect yourself too."

Chakotay frowned. "What does that mean?"

Kathryn hesitated. "Why did you pick me?"

His expression grew confused. "Pick you? For what?"

"For you."

Chakotay's mouth opened for a moment. He looked away and took a deep breath. Kathryn took her hand back and said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. Obviously, things have changed. It's been a long time since you and I…talked about this."

Chakotay's brown eyes found her blue ones. "Are we…talking about it?"

"Yes. I mean I'd like to…if you want to?"

Chakotay licked his lips. "Of course I do. Have you…have you changed your mind?"

Kathryn glanced away and said, "Let's just say I'm willing to explore possibilities."

Chakotay noticed her avoid his gaze and he leaned forward. "I see. That's wonderful."

She turned back and said, "Please don't get ahead me. I've been through a lot in the past few days and I just want to think about things differently for a while."

He sat back. "Oh, so that's it." He laughed and said, "I should have realized."

Kathryn put a hand on his leg. "What are you talking about?"

"This whole experience you've just had. It's making you question everything."

She smiled and said, "That's a good thing, isn't it?"

Chakotay nodded. 'It can be." He hesitated and said, "But that doesn't make it real."

Kathryn looked past him at the lake water as it lapped against the boat and up at the stars illuminated in the sky by the night moon. She waved her hand and said, "None of this is real. Does it make it any less of a real or enjoyable experience?"

"No," Chakotay said. "You can have fun with it, play with it, but at the end of your time, it goes away. You can't build a life on something that doesn't really exist."

Kathryn continued to study the lake. "If there is one thing I've learned after all this is that nothing is permanent. Life isn't permanent." Returning to him, she shrugged and said, "You and I will eventually go away too."

Chakotay considered her words for a minute. "I'm going to repeat something that you once said to me. What do you want from me?"

Kathryn was shocked by his directness and remained silent as Chakotay took her hand in his. "Think about it. Don't answer me now. You've been through a lot. What I said long ago about wanting to share a more personal life with you, I still mean. I still want. But, I don't want to push you into something you don't want. And I don't want you jumping into it because you're scared and you need some type of security to settle your nerves. Kathryn, I'll always be here for you as your friend or as your lover. But, you need to make a choice before I become either one. That's something that I need to know now for me. I need to know what your expectations are so I know which path to follow for you."

Kathryn shuddered as she struggled to blink back tears. "Oh Chakotay, I'm so sorry. I'm afraid I don't know what I want."

Chakotay sighed and rubbed her hand. "I know you don't. That's why I need you to take the time to figure it out. Don't answer me now. When you're ready, you'll know what the answer is."

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "Will I?"

He smiled and wiped her tears away with his thumb. "Yes, Kathryn, you will. Just promise me you'll be honest with yourself. That's the most important thing you can do for you and for me."

She swallowed hard. "What if…what if I…"

"…don't pick me as anything other than your First Officer?" Chakotay glanced around at their serene setting. "I'll be disappointed." He looked back at her and said, "But the last thing I ever want to do is to hurt you. You once said to me that you didn't want me to settle for you out of convenience based on our current situation. I'm saying the same thing to you now. We could find a way home tomorrow or in 50 years. My best advice to you is if your feelings for me would not be the same in either scenario, then I think you'll have your answer. "

Kathryn slowly nodded. "And if they are?"

"Then you would have another answer. One that I would prefer but this isn't really about me." He took her by the shoulders and turned her to face him. "This is about you. That alien did a good thing in making you re-examine who you are and what you want in your life going forward. Kathryn, you've put this crew and our mission of getting home above everything else in your life. You are a part of this crew. Move yourself to the head of the duty roster and really consider this for yourself. Your life has changed and it will be affected no matter what you decide. It's up to you to make a decision that you're comfortable with. And I know you'll do that. You always do."

"Do I? I made a decision to put us out here in the Delta Quadrant, alone. I don't think I'll ever be comfortable with that."

"Would you reverse that decision if you could?"

Kathryn shook her head and whispered, "No, Chakotay, I don't think so."

He smiled and squeezed her shoulders. "Just because a decision requires sacrifice, that doesn't make it the wrong one. Do you understand that?"

Kathryn nodded. "Yes. That decision affected the entire crew. And this one…this one it's the same thing, Chakotay. It's not just us."

"No it's not, but we're the ones most affected by it. It's our decision to make just like each crewman will choose for themselves along the way how they interact personally with each other. I believe the crew will support us just like we support them. And I think we could handle whatever you and I do together whether it's in friendship or in love."

Kathryn nodded again. "Yes, we could."

Chakotay smiled and ran his hands down her arms as he knelt down. "Your first decision was one that brought a lot of people together for the better. We're not as alone as you think. The bonds that we have now wouldn't have happened if you had made a different choice. Kathryn, I'm here for you no matter what. How much here I am for you personally is up to you. It always will be."

Kathryn took his face and leaned down to kiss his forehead. "I love you, Chakotay."

Chakotay's eyes lit up. "Kathryn…does that mean…"

Tears fell from her cheeks onto his lap as she smiled and said, "It means I think I'd like to try."

Chakotay leapt up and pulled her to him eager for their first official kiss. He kissed her deeply and she returned it equally matching his passion. As he pulled away, he said, "It's so good to feel your lips kiss me back."

Kathryn giggled and said, "They always will."

"I love you, Kathryn Janeway."

"I love you, Chakotay."


End file.
